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Check out our collection of jokes about Baptists below. Q: What do you call a Baptist with half a brain? A: Gifted! Q: How can you tell if a Baptist is really happy? A: They crack a smile. Q: How can you tell if a Baptist is lying? A: Their lips are moving. Corny jokes What do you call a Baptist with a sense of humor? A paradox!
Baptists jokes SuperFunny
Bubba. Once When Bubba got a new job, he says to his new boss, "Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!". His boss doesn't believe him, so he says "No you do not know everyone in the whole world.". Bubba says "Yes I do!". Bubba's boss says "Well prove it!". Bubba says. upvote downvote report.
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I am over 18 An atheist man married a devout Catholic woman. The woman insisted they have a full catholic wedding, led by a priest and including the sacrament. The man loved her, so he capitulated. Every Sunday the woman insisted they attend mass. The man loved her, so he capitulated.
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"Lutheran." "Go to Room 18, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8." A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?" "Presbyterian." "Go to Room 11, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8." The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different denominations, but why must I be quiet when I pass Room 8?"
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Baptist on a bridge joke Posted on 23 March 2012, 5:54 I get Google alerts whenever Ship of Fools appears in the news, and tonight we got a rare mention for a competition we ran back in 2005 called The Laugh Judgment. We asked our readers to send us their favourite religious jokes in two categories: funniest and most offensive.
65+ Baptists Jokes To Make Fun JokoJokes
Christian jokes range from the World War II joke about "since Pontius was a pilot" to Emo Phillips' story about two Baptists on a bridge.While some Christians worry that it's irreverent to make jokes about church or biblical characters, there is a long tradition of Christians having a sense of humor about their faith.
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Southern Baptist Jokes. A Roman Catholic priest, a Southern Baptist minister, and a Rabbi were all at a bar. They were all arguing over who could convert the most followers to his respective religion. A rather drunk man at the bar yells, "Anyone can convert a person! It takes real skill to convert a bear!"
Okay, this actually isn't funny anymore. Baptist humor, Funny
Here he was, trying to help his pastor and he was looking like a weakling. A weakling with big biceps and a tattoo, but still a weakling. I extended my leg once more. He grabbed it, and like the cowboys holding onto a rope when bull-riding, he got a firm grip and had a far-away look. He really put his back into it.
Baptisms Gone Wrong Funny Church Videos YouTube
1. Why don't Baptists go on dates? They believe in predestination. 2. How do you identify a Secret Baptist at a party? He's the one who doesn't recognize any fellow church members. 3. What's the difference between a Baptist and a cat lover? One lives their life following the ten "cat"mandments. 4. How do you make holy water in a Baptist church?
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Baptist Jokes What's the difference between a Catholic and Baptist? A Catholic will say hello to you in a liquor store. How do you keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer on a fishing trip? Invite two of them. What do Atilla the Hun and John the Baptist have in common? Their middle name. Score: 43
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"Heaven help us!" How did the priest dry off after baptizing a baby? He used a holy towel! Why did the baby refuse to be baptized? It thought the water was too deep-end-ent! Read More: Jokes About Angels Puns About Baptism How did the preacher get through the cold baptismal water? He had faith in his insulated vestments!
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There are three truths in religion: 1) Jewish people do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3) Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store. upvote downvote report.
Fried or in a casserole Baptist humor, Church humor, Funny church signs
Top 101 Baptist Jokes: Why don't Baptists like playing chess in the park? Because everyone passing by would think they're having fun! How do you know you're a Baptist? You think God's presence is strongest in the back three pews. Why do Baptists never recognize each other at the liquor store? Because they're too busy not recognizing themselves!
Jokes How many Baptists are here?
To 'pitch' the word of God. Why do Baptist parents make great comedians? They've had plenty of 'practice' with their kids. How did the Baptist become a gardener of faith? They planted 'seeds' of love in people's hearts. Why did the Baptist bring a pillow to the church potluck? In case they needed a 'prayer' nap.
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Top 50 Baptism Jokes: Why did the priest bring a ladder to the baptism? Because he wanted to reach new spiritual heights! Why don't churches use champagne for baptisms? Too much holy spirit can be intoxicating! Why did the priest become a baker? Because he kneaded the dough to baptize the bread! What did the baby say after his baptism?
Why Baptist don’t do lent… and other things
"I just can't s. upvote downvote report A Catholic priest, a Baptist minister and a rabbi are camping together Around the campfire they each claim to be the best at winning converts to their respective faiths. To settle the friendly dispute they decide to seek out a bear and try to convert it.